To All The Boys I Loved Before

Disclaimer: Do not come at me saying that this is not original. I am aware of that and I liked the movie and the book very much. I’m not copying anything from either plots. This is entirely my blog post where I decided to add an Ariana Grande ‘Thank You Next’ twist. This title is the property of the original author of the book and I am in no way copying it or the film. 

A/N: If you are reading this thank you. I have been really inactive for a hot minute and I apologize for that. I’ve had a lot going on with school, work, recently getting engaged (which I will post a blog post about very soon!), and some family tragedies that needed my attention more. That being said, I hope you enjoy this little post and I hope it makes up for my long hiatus.

I’ve had a lot of people I have loved. These people taught me so many things that I know carved me into who I am. Granted, I do not talk to any of them (nor do I want to), they did have a large impact on who I am. That being said, I want to thank you.

  • Thank you for teaching me that I control my happiness. I used to be so terrified to tell you how unhappy I was, but it was because of you that I realized I have a voice and I can speak up. Thank you for teaching me that. It gave me a backbone.
  • Thank you for teaching me to never let people take advantage of my kindness. I would have done everything for you. I would have walked oceans if that was what you needed from me. Thank you for showing me that my kindness is reserved for people who deserve it, in ways you never did.
  • Thank you for teaching me that love does not require change it just requires growth between two people. You showed me first hand just how much people can change during the years we dated and I can honestly say that we never once grew together. You constantly tried to change me and make me into this person you wanted me to be. Thank you for never loving me the way I was. It taught me to love myself even more and eventually it taught me to let Michael love me. Because that’s real love.
  • Thank you for teaching me to not be naive. I really trusted you and took your words at face value. I was seventeen and trying to find my way and I think that everything you put me through with constantly worrying if you were cheating on me really helped me later on down the road. I learned to not put up with people’s bull-crap and I really learned that if something feels fishy it usually is.
  • Thank you for being so controlling. Down to my outfits, friends, social media. You really taught me what mentally abusive was and looked like. I learned later on that a real man will trust you no matter what situation it is. Because he knows your relationship and knows you. That’s something you never grasped. Thank you for making me think I was in the wrong constantly for even speaking to a male. Thank you for making me feel like I was two feet tall if I wore something you did not like. Thank you for making me make myself lesser just to help your ego.
  • Thank you for not fighting for me. Our breakup was the easiest simply because no feelings were involved. We were both so done with each other. You because you had someone else, and me because I was tired of pretending you didn’t. There was once a time when I wasn’t full blown crazy – when I trusted you and genuinely did not have that feeling women get. You made me like that. You ruined our relationship by lying to my face. Thank you for letting me go so easily. I learned that a person who really loves me would have still kept trying.
  • Thank you for teaching me that someone can say they love you and never mean it. I wasted two years of my life on you and you could say you never loved me that easily, you taught me the most important lesson. Someone who really cares about your feelings will not waste your time like that. It’s also the reason I tell Michael that if either of us ever stop loving each other to not continue on with the relationship because it’s comfortable or out of necessity. Because when you love someone you don’t want to waste their time. You wasted mine and never cared about it or how it affected me after.

I have a lot of things I can thank you for really. I can think you for taking up my time until a real man came along to fix what you broke. Michael may be the goofiest person to walk the planet but he’s my goof. He makes me happier than you ever could and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. I never saw my future with any of you. I never saw us getting married or having kids. I never saw any of that. When I look at Michael, my dreams light up like a Christmas tree. I see me walking down the aisle to him. I see our kids. I see us as grandparents in our rocking chairs. I see it all. So thank you, for making me the person I am today. Thank you for paving the road for something greater. Thank you for being the exact opposite of what I needed, because it was never supposed to be you. It was always supposed to be him.

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