I’ve had this fantasy version of my husband in my head since I was a kid. I used to imagine what he would look like and daydream of the day we would get to meet. I used to write him letters and pray for him. I would put on my grandmother’s baby blue robe (that was way too long on my short body) and pretend it was my wedding dress. I would practice walking down the aisle to this person, daydreaming of the day it would really happen. This man was always in my thoughts.
When I was a kid I watched in amazement as everyone around me had love. I loved watching my grandparents and their marriage, just the raw love they had for each other that rivaled even my wildest dreams. I grew up my entire life wanting that. I grew up my entire life wanting to be loved like that, with no hidden agenda. As I got older, I had several boyfriends. Some lasted for years, others for months, a few for a month. Each time though, I never found myself imagining my life with them. I saw no future.
Going into the summer of my Senior year of high school I thought that maybe I would end up going off to college and have some epic romance where I would find the love of my life.
Little did I know that a few weeks later I would end up meeting Michael on a dating app called Tinder.
Little did I know that the boy I wrote letters to as a kid would be him.
Little did I know that the man I prayed for would be thirty minutes away from me my entire life.
Looking back now, I find it insane how things work. It’s part of the reason I believe in a higher power. I don’t think that things just happen by themselves, I think that some things are already predestined to happen. The only way I can explain what I mean by that is like this: The second I met Michael I felt like I had known him my entire life. I felt so comfortable around him and for a split second, I feel like I saw a glimpse into our future now. I never really believed in past lives but something about Michael and I clicked like we had found each other multiple times in every life we ever lived.
December 18th, 2018
It was a Tuesday. We had driven over seven hours to visit our friends Dustin and Maria in North Carolina, and today was the first day since we got there that the sun had actually shown itself. I got up early excited to go to the beach today since we could not make it on Sunday. I did my hair, got my nails fixed, and attempted to look cute for the date I wanted later on with Michael. Looking back now, I am realizing how oblivious I am to everything around me. Maria and Michael were both acting so sketchy and talking about how they were going to prank me at some point that day. Knowing what I know now about what was actually about to happen that day I am glad that I am oblivious to everything around me. I knew something was going on, but I had become content with the fact that I would not be getting engaged for a while. I was okay with that. I think that me being so oblivious took some of the pressure off Michael since he didn’t have to find himself searching for an explanation of why he was acting weird.
We drove to the beach with Maria and Dustin in a separate car due to the fact I wanted to go on a date with Michael later. I was antsy wanting to know what happened to me and Michael’s pier after the damage Florence caused. When we finally got to the pier I was upset to find out that it was under construction and that half of it had been destroyed by the hurricane. I was still really happy to be in my favorite place with Michael. We had started coming to North Carolina and this beach when we had our first anniversary. It became our little tradition. It had made me sad when we were not able to go for our three years because of classes so Michael asked me if I wanted to go in December and here we were.
The beach was less crowded, not as cold as I thought it would be, and beautiful as always. Maria wanted to have a photo shoot and started taking pictures of Michael and I. I remember I was looking away for one second and looked back and saw Maria hand Michael something. I thought nothing of it. She told me to turn around and for Michael to stand up straighter. At this point I caught I glimpse of Michael from my peripherals. He was down on one knee. I got mad. Remember earlier how I said they were going to prank me later? I thought he was pranking me by fake proposing.
Yet, something felt different. I am a firm believer that certain moments in your life happen in a different reality. Big events feel calmer and the world slows down for a second. At this moment it felt like that. All I could think of was if I was ready. Yet, at this moment while I was thinking all that I heard a very unsure voice say, “Hey Kaley, can I ask you something?” I found myself turning around and looking down at him. He was on one knee with a box in his hand. “Will you marry me?” I tried to not laugh at him at that moment. Anyone who saw him from the perspective that I did would have seen how nervous he was. It was a look on his face I wasn’t used to. One of the reasons I fell in love with Michael as fast as I did was because he was always so sure of himself. I have never met another human being who was as confident in their choices and actions like Michael is. So, seeing him like this – nervous and scared was very different for me.
Obviously, you would not be reading this post unless I said yes. I said yes to more than marrying him though. I said yes to getting the pleasure of loving him for the rest of my life. I said yes to growing a family with him one day. I said yes to all of it and him.
At that moment all I could think about was little Kaley. Playing bride in her grandmother’s robe. Praying for a man who had no face that she had never met. Wondering what this man would look like, what he would be like. At that moment all I could think about was how Michael’s face had replaced little Kaley’s big question mark. It was Mike all along.
Michael has been in every single one of my favorite memories. He has been a part of my life for three plus years now. I can’t remember a time before he came in and taught me what love was. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life creating many more memories with him and the family we will one day have.