Leave A Message At The Tone

I found myself wanting to call you today

but I realized I can’t talk to the person

who hurt me about what’s hurting me

I see you so clearly in my mind

everywhere I go

You’re in my room

eating Taco Bell on the floor

You’re in my car

singing along to every song you know

You’re at the grocery store

picking up apples and caramel

You’re at my front door

doing what you do best,

walking away.

The truth is, I’m still hurt.

But I’ll never tell you that.

Because telling you

would be me justifying how you acted,

putting a bandaid over my gaping wound

and telling you that it didn’t hurt that bad.

That if you apologize or kiss it and make it better

it’ll be like it never existed

like it never happened.

But it did.

It all happened.

You happened.

I almost called you today,

but instead I deleted your number

and reminded myself that I deserve better

than an uncertain little boy

who could never make up his mind

when it came to anything involving me.

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