Sometimes, living in your head is a scary place.
I find myself being my judge and jury most of the time.
Picking every choice I make apart,
examining them under a microscope,
and stressing over the outcomes and consequences of actions made
in order to make myself happy again.
I’m realizing lately,
that every choice – good or bad,
have a purpose for the future.
They hold a purpose for me.
It teaches me to grow and heal from the past,
a new concept for someone who runs from everything.
I’m learning that without the insanely shitty times,
the insanely good times would be a little less sweet.
I’m learning that I control my feelings,
not the situations that bombard my life.
I’m learning not to seek validation
from temporary people who hold no place in my future.
I’m learning to enjoy being alone.
I’m learning to heal
and that’s really the only thing I want going through my head.