If we are being honest, I got into skincare later in life. My mom let me play around with makeup when I was younger and unfortunately, the products that are viewed as “holy grails” were not around back then. I struggled with acne my entire life due to the fact I did not know how to take care of my skin properly.
That being said, I think it is important for me to add that around the age of sixteen I had experimented with so many face washes and moisturizers to the point I began to think nothing would work for me. It wasn’t until I was around eighteen that I stumbled upon the brand Murad. To this day it is still the only staple I have in my skincare routine and I have never faltered from using it.
However, other than my Murad facewash, I can’t say I have a “routine” when it comes to my skin. On some days, I do my skin care routine in the morning and night, other times I may go the entire day and not touch my skin at all. It is simply a touch and go process for me and it depends completely on how lazy I am feeling on any given day.
My entire life people have asked me where I see myself in five, ten, and even twenty years from now. My answer when I was younger was always something that at the time I was sure of. For example: When I was thirteen I would tell people I wanted to be a forensic detective. When I was sixteen, a lawyer. When I turned eighteen I was convinced I was going to be a pediatric acute care nurse and then when I went off to college I wanted to just be a neonatal nurse. Now at the ripe at of 21 (and some months), I want to do something in psychology. What? I have absolutely no idea and that terrifies me less than anything else I had planned.
Please know this is not written to bash anyone. This is written from a place of love, specifically from a place of acceptance of the outcome and hope that this person will one day improve themselves. Whether that improvement is caused by this post or not. I wil never hold anger towards you. I will forgive, but I don’t think I will ever forget. Please also be aware this is a late night post and written in the throws of extreme tiredness. My thoughts may come off jumbled because truthfully my mind is all over the place. I have a million things I want to say and unfortunately that all will never get expressed. Like I said, I am not trying to bash anyone. However, this is MY blog and I am allowed to write what I want. Whether it be coherent or not.
A/N: This is not a blog post saying
that I will never return. It’s just a blog post about accepting the face I will
never return to Young Harris as a student, I’ll just return as a visitor. I
suppose that this is a farewell to a place that holds the largest chunk of my
heart. I struggle with change, even more so when I love the place I am leaving
to go to someplace else. Although, I have officially been a Nighthawk now at
UNG for a full year, my heart has stayed Mountain Lion purple through and
through. It’s time to say goodbye to the place that gave me the best year and a
half of my life. It’s time to be okay with starting someplace new and allowing
myself to let new people in. It’s time for me to realize that by doing so I am
not betraying the friends I made during my time at Young Harris, nor am I
disregarding the memories I made either. I will always feel most at home in
that little valley. I came there as a child who had the highest hopes for
herself, no real clue of the world, and an itch to get away from her hometown.
I found several things in that valley. I found friends that will last a
lifetime. I found sisters. Somehow, during all of that I ended up finding me.
I’ve had this fantasy version of my husband in my head since I was a kid. I used to imagine what he would look like and daydream of the day we would get to meet. I used to write him letters and pray for him. I would put on my grandmother’s baby blue robe (that was way too long on my short body) and pretend it was my wedding dress. I would practice walking down the aisle to this person, daydreaming of the day it would really happen. This man was always in my thoughts.
Thank you for teaching me about myself and showing me what not to deal with. Thank you to the man who took the time to learn everything about me, not just the face value things.
I have several fears.
Silly ones are clowns, snakes, spiders, you get the drift. However, my real fears (the ones that keep me awake at night) are more complex. I am terrified of aging and death. So much so that I force myself to not think about the future. I’m scared of not being a good wife to someone one day, or a good mother to my future kids. I am scared that the way I see my future in my head, will never become a reality. I’m terrified of being alone.
Just recently, I had an assignment in one of my classes where I had to interview someone over sixty-five. I had always been curious about the perspective of life from someone older than me and I have always wanted to do something like this. Pick the brain of someone who has lived countless years more than me and has learned and experienced more than I have. I went into the assignment thinking that it would be fun. I wasn’t prepared for the reality check that life was so fleeting.
As most of you know my blog has been under construction. This is mainly due to me upgrading it and making it better than before. As I have posted several times before my blog is my child and means the entire world to me. It is my favorite hobby and the place I come when I need to vent or express my thoughts or feelings. There is nothing I love more than getting to sit down and devote my time to this.
All of that being said it is important to note that my blog will be perfect before I resume posting about anything. However, this is just to update you guys that posting will resume very soon!
I hope you guys can stay patient a little longer, it will be worth it! I promise!