It’s interesting watching yourself lose your spark.
Like watching a fire get smothered.
until it just finally goes out.
You sit back and wonder,
if it’s just coming with age,
if you are growing up and realizing
that not everything is worth your opinion.
Or if you just lost the fight
that you used to have in you.
Happy Birthday beautiful!
You are not just my best friend, or my sorority sister, you are my family.
I love you, I’m proud of you, and I hope this birthday is the one that changes everything for you – in the best possible way!
My mind goes back to you
at random moments.
It’s always the days
that I never thought you’d pop into my head.
When people make little statements,
unknowingly making my mind drift
to what could have been.
It’s only then
that I find myself
that the outcome would have been different.
That you would be here,
in my arms,
safe and sound.
Where you were meant to be.
I fell in love with how much you have to say
like you’ve never met someone
who speaks the same language as you.
Moving on is tricky. But what they don’t tell you, the real bitch involved in the healing process is learning to let go. You can move on easily. If you get fired, you find a new job. If you lose a relationship, find a new boo. If you lose friends, find new ones. Moving on, is the easiest part of the process. But the part that really guts you Internally is learning to let go.
It seems like it should be easy.
A thought I had while staring at a text I was typing up to send to someone who needed to officially be a part of my past. It should be easy. Yet, every word of that message broke my heart just a little bit more. Moving on was easy, after dealing with the emotional heartache of losing someone I cared about. I put in the work, I focused on myself. I got to the final destination of emotional recovery. I moved on. Yet, here I was realizing there was a third and final step to life. The part where you have to let go. Whether that means forgiving someone for what they did to you or closing the book at the end of the final chapter. Eventually, you have to learn to move on.
So, I sat.
Thinking about what I wanted to say in that moment was overwhelming, because there was so much to say. But I realized that sometimes you just have to let go, to me this meant keeping it simple. I owed them no further explanation, they knew everything I felt because I had told them multiple times.
I told them goodbye for good the other day.
And then I hit send.